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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25066621">Stars Are Brighter At Night</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheshirewritesagain2402/pseuds/cheshirewritesagain2402'>cheshirewritesagain2402</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes &amp; Related Fandoms, Sherlock Holmes (Downey films)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drug Abuse, Fluff, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Love, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicide Attempt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:00:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,541</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25066621</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheshirewritesagain2402/pseuds/cheshirewritesagain2402</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Victor’s parents die, he has some things to come to terms with. When his best friend Mycroft suggests to spend the holidays with him, he agrees, not knowing that he would finally find someone he can open up to.</p><p>No spoilers but for those who must know: no rape/non-con between Victor / Sherlock / Mycroft in any form.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sherlock Holmes/Victor Trevor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Stars Are Brighter At Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Just something to help me over my writer’s block at the moment. It’s really hard to focus on properly plotted stories at the moment.<br/>Also, not beta’d and typed on my phone, so excuse any weird mistakes (I’ll correct them at a later stage again).<br/>x C.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mycroft sighed as he finally got off the train. Summer holidays. Just a few quiet weeks spent in his parent’s garden, a cool drink in one hand and a good book in the other. It sounded like bliss after the stress of university. </p><p>The 19-year-old turned to take a bag from his friend and classmate Victor.</p><p>Victor’s parents had been living close to the Holmes’ for years until they moved away when Victor was about 11 years old. </p><p>Earlier this year, Victor’s parents had been involved in a terrible car crash and were killed instantly. Victor had been devastated, but, luckily, his parents hadn’t left him empty-handed. Both had been rather wealthy and therefore, at least, Victor had nothing to fear in that regard. But the fact was still that he had lost something more valuable than money. </p><p>Since Victor had no relatives he cared for very much and he still suffered, although he would never openly admit it, Mycroft had offered his friend to stay with his family. </p><p>Mummy Holmes had been delighted and father had liked the idea too, both having been very fond of the boy. </p><p>Mycroft had been very glad when he had found out that Victor would go to the same university, delighted to have a friend there already and saving himself the unnecessary “bonding” with strangers. </p><p>Victor, whose intellect equalled Mycroft’s, had felt the same and so they had started to share a dorm room, pretty much ignoring everyone of their horribly dull classmates.</p><p>The two young adults were picked up by Mycroft’s dad, who embraced them both as if they had just come back from war.</p><p>Once at the house, mummy was very happy to see them as well.</p><p>“Tea will be ready shortly. Do you want to show Victor his room in the meantime?”, she asked after having squeezed them both thoroughly.</p><p>Both parents had refrained from looking pityingly at Victor, which he was very grateful for. The last thing the young man needed was to be pitied or asked stupid questions while he was still coming to terms with everything himself. </p><p>“Sure. Come on.”</p><p>Mycroft led Victor into the guest room on the first floor, close to his and Sherlock’s room.</p><p>Mummy and father had moved to the downstairs bedroom a few years ago, as they were “not getting any younger and if we have to renovate the bedrooms, we might as well put the guest room on the first floor”.</p><p>Victor gave Mycroft a slight smile.</p><p>“Thanks. I really appreciate... everything.”</p><p>Mycroft waved it off with his hand.</p><p>They both were not good at talking about feelings, but they knew what they meant to each other.</p><p>“I’m going to check on my little brother. You want to come?”</p><p>“Little Sherlock? Of course.”</p><p>Victor grinned, or tried to. It looked a little forced.</p><p>Mycroft led Victor across the hall to another door, and knocked gently.</p><p>“Go away!”, a voice shouted from within. “I’m busy wirh an experiment.”</p><p>“You sure you don’t want help?”, Mycroft called back.</p><p>Silence.</p><p>Then the door was flung open and he had two arms full of lanky boy. Both siblings laughed and hugged each other tightly.</p><p>“Mycroft! You are early.”</p><p>“I am. To surprise you.”</p><p>Mycroft put Sherlock back down and stepped aside so his little brother could see Victor.</p><p>“Sherlock, do you remember Victor Trevor? He used to play with us but he went away when you were five.”</p><p>Sherlock nodded a little shyly.</p><p>“Hi.” Victor gave a little, awkward wave with his hand.</p><p>“Hi.”</p><p>“Victor is going to spend the summer with us.”</p><p>Sherlock’s face fell.</p><p>“But I haven’t seen you in so long. We have experiments to conduct and people to deduce and I want to talk to you about the frog species I discovered in our lake...”</p><p>Victor smiled and answered before Mycroft could.</p><p>“I won’t be in the way. I mainly plan to spend my time reading in the shade.”</p><p>Sherlock seemed to think about this before he nodded. </p><p>“Alright. He can stay.”, he said to his older brother. </p><p>Mycroft smiled at him. It was so good to see him again, even if he was still unable to interact with people.</p><p>Victor didn’t take it personal, though.</p><p>“I’m very glad about this, little master Holmes.“</p><p>Sherlock frowned once more at Victor, before he turned to his room.</p><p>“Come, Mycie, I need to show you something.”</p><p>He pulled his big brother along with him.</p><p>“I’m just going to unpack.”, Victor said and diasppeared. </p><p>Mycroft knew that his friend was glad to have a little time to himself, and so he didn’t offer him to come with them.</p><p>********</p><p>Over the next few days Mycroft spent a lot of time with Sherlock. </p><p>Victor, as he had said to the younger Holmes, spent most of his time with his book, reading underneath an oak tree. His eyes were glued to the sentences, but he didn’t turn the pages once. </p><p>Eventually Sherlock, the all observant being, got suspicious.</p><p>“What’s wrong with him?”</p><p>Mycroft studied his brother. He had told him about death when he had been seven years old, when their great-aunt Linda died. Sherlock had been very neutral and accepting, stating that he had seen a lot of dead animals in the woods already and that he had assumed something like this would happen to humans as well.</p><p>Mycroft just wasn’t sure about telling Sherlock about Victor, because he didn’t want the 12-year-old to go and ask questions Victor wasn’t ready, or maybe never would be ready, to answer. His younger brother was very curious.</p><p>However, lying to Sherlock was something that was beyond Mycroft’s nature. He knew that the younger appreciated his honesty, as everyone else always treated him “like a baby”. </p><p>“Victor lost his parents a few months ago.”, Mycroft said while he was putting more water into a small bucket, which contained tadpoles that Sherlock had just caught, and some weeds he had found in the lake.</p><p>Sherlock’s intelligent eyes were still studying Victor.</p><p>“Is he sad?”</p><p>“Yes. And that’s why we shouldn’t ask him any questions about his parent’s death.” A gentle warning but Mycroft knew that the younger understood.</p><p>Suddenly Sherlock got up and took the bucket from Mycroft. With his other hand he picked up his miscroscope. The he stalked off towards Victor.</p><p>Mycroft followed suit, interested to see what his brother was up to now.</p><p>Victor didn’t notice them approaching, until Sherlock practically thrust the bucket into his face.</p><p>Victor looked up, his eyes a little red around the rim, as was a standard now. Mycroft supposed that he cried a lot at night, but he never commented on it and Victor didn’t offer to talk about it.</p><p>Sherlock’s excitement seemed to rip Victor out of his thoughts.</p><p>“Do you want to analyse these tadpoles and weeds with us? I want to find out if they could be genetically related.”</p><p>Victor seemed at a loss for words for a moment and Mycroft was ready to jump in and tell Sherlock that they should leave him alone, when the other young man found his voice again.</p><p>“I’d love to.”</p><p>Sherlock, excited that he now had the undivided attention of two people, sat down on the grass and began preparing his experiment, while Mycroft sat and Victor shut his book.</p><p>Sherlock was babbling excitedly, looking up every now and then to make sure that Victor was still concentrating on what he was saying. He was as cheerful as ever, but Mycroft could tell that he was paying attention to distract Victor from  his own thoughts, which made Mycroft very happy. His brother, whom his parents had already dubbed as sociopath, showed so much empathy towards a person that wasn’t his big brother. He was making progress.</p><p>Mycroft could tell that Victor was happy to be distracted from whatever was going on inside him, and he participated wholeheartedly in Sherlock’s experiment, asking questions and even giving some explanations when Sherlock wasn’t sure about something (as Victor himself was very knowledgable in biology).</p><p>Mycroft was actually glad that the two of them got along so well. He had expected Sherlock to be much more hostile towards his friend, not only because he would be jealous that he saw him every day at university, but also because he wanted to spend the summer alone with his brother. That the younger had reacted so well to having Victor with them for the holidays. And he really hoped that Victor would start to feel a little better if he was distracted from the terrible happenings only months ago.</p><p>********</p><p>Victor had dreaded these holidays more than anything. He would have loved to stay in Mycroft and his dorm over the summer and just use his time for studying, but this, apparently, wasn't allowed. He had equally dreaded to go home to his parent's estate to deal with things he wasn't ready to deal with yet or, God forbid, stay with any extended family, who would pity him all summer long. No thank you!</p><p>So it had come as a pleasant option when his friend had offered him to stay at his parent's house for the summer.</p><p>He had quite fond memories of the Holmes parents, and he also recalled Mycroft's much younger brother Sherlock. He had liked to spend time with them when he had been a child, and since it had been his best option, he had accepted the offer.</p><p>At first he had been a little scared that there would be pity too, but knowing Mycroft, his friend had never pitied him (or at least never shown it to him) and he could avoid his parents should it get too much. However, the elder Holmes' didn't even ask about his parents, no 'I'm sorry' or 'Condolences'. They had treated him as if he would have just come to stay over the holidays with a friend. Which he had.</p><p>The biggest surprise, however, had been Sherlock. He had last seen the boy when he was four or five years old. Now he was 12, still as curious as ever, but more talkative and full of energy. He had been a quiet child, always following Mycroft and him around, and the boys hadn't minded one bit. Now it was more like Mycroft and he were following Sherlock around.</p><p>Victor had been a little disappointed that Sherlock appeared to not want to have him there at first, but it had been so long and he had been so young, that Victor could hardly blame him. He had hoped for a little distraction, if he was completely honest, although he had vowed to spend his time reading and studying. This plan had failed miserably when he had realised that he wasn't able to concentrate at all. It had been alright during university, as he had had no choice but to focus to get through the semester. Being off, however, provided to be more difficult. There was nothing he absolutely had to do, nowhere he had to be, so it made it harder, yes.</p><p>Sherlock including him in one of his experiments was certainly stupid for most people, but for Victor it had been very welcome. </p><p>A couple of days later, Victor spend almost all of his time awake in Sherlock's presence.</p><p>The boy was an early riser, so he would come and wake Victor at an ungodly hour, just to make him go to the lake with him for a swim, or to observe animals that would hide later on, because it got too warm.</p><p>At first Victor had been a little bewildered, but Mycroft had just laughed at him when he had told him, and had bragged about the fact that, finally, he was allowed to sleep while Sherlock had found a new 'victim' to accompany him. Still, most of the days, Sherlock would wake both of them, especially when he wanted to go for his morning swim. </p><p>They would have breakfast together afterwards, and then Mycroft would read something, or study a little, while Victor occupied Sherlock and the other way around.</p><p>Victor hardly wanted to admit it to himself, but he enjoyed being with Sherlock a lot. The boy had done so much to distract him, consciously or not, and was making his summer bearable. For the first time in months he felt like he had his life at least halfway under control again.</p><p>********</p><p>Victor tossed and turned in his bed. There was no point in trying to sleep right now. Even if he would manage to drift off, he knew that nightmares would haunt him, so he got up and walked downstairs into the dark kitchen, making some tea.</p><p>Victor watched the kettle boil, taking out a cup and putting a tea bag inside. Although he had no hopes of sleeping tonight anyways, he decided on a caffein free one.</p><p>Suddenly something moved behind him and Victor literally jumped into the air.</p><p>“Sherlock.”, he huffed, putting his hand over his heart. “What are you doing?”</p><p>The boy looked up at him with wide eyes.</p><p>“Can’t sleep.”</p><p>“Do you want some tea to calm down?”</p><p>Sherlock shook his head.</p><p>“Cocoa.”</p><p>“Hot?”</p><p>Sherlock nodded.</p><p>Victor turned on the faint light underneath the kitchen cupboards and rummaged through the cupboards until he found a pot and the cocoa powder.</p><p>Sherlock went to the fridge and took out some milk, holding it out to Victor.</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>He measured the milk in cup and poured it into the pot, before he stirred in some powder, according to Sherlock’s instructions. </p><p>While they waited for the milk to boil, Victor helped Sherlock sit on the breakfast bar.</p><p>“You alright?”, Sherlock asked as Victor stirred the milk. </p><p>Victor’s first instinct was to lie, as he usually did nowadays, but he didn’t feel like it somehow.</p><p>“Not really.”, he answered but didn’t look up from the cocoa he was stirring.</p><p>Sherlock was silent for a moment.</p><p>“Your parents?”</p><p>Victor nodded, swallowing a lump that had appeared in his throat.</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>Victor could hear the hesitation in Sherlock’s voice and he gave a small, encouraging smile in his direction, telling him that it was alright to ask.</p><p>“They were driving home from a friend’s party. Their car hit a tree.”</p><p>Victor poired the water for his tea and Sherlock’s cocoa into the respective cups.</p><p>“I don’t know what actually happened. The police told me that they did some tests and there was some alcohol in my father’s blood, who was driving.”</p><p>Sherlock jumped off the bar and took his cup, leading them both into the living room. They didn’t turn on any lights, sitting on the sofa next to each other.</p><p>“That’s not why you’re upset though.”</p><p>Victor almost spilled his tea. No one, not even Mycroft had seen that.</p><p>“Of course I am.”, he lied automatically.</p><p>Sherlock frowned.</p><p>“It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it, but I can see that their death doesn’t upset you. At least not in itself.”</p><p>Victor turned to face the boy, who sipped his cocoa in his bee-themed pyjamas.</p><p>“Alright. Do enlighten me. What is it that upsets me?”, Victor asked, not unkindly. He wasn’t able to speak it out loud, but if someone was to deduce it...</p><p>Sherlock narrowed his eyes a little and turned on the sofa, scanning Victor closely.</p><p>“You’re upset that they’re dead, but not in a common way. You’re upset because you don’t know how you feel about the fact that they are dead. You feel... relieved that they are dead now and therefore you feel guilty because you think like this.”</p><p>Victor held his breath. </p><p>Sherlock tilted his head slightly.</p><p>“But why? Why would you...” The boy was muttering to himself and Victor didn’t plan on answering. He did open his defences though and let Sherlock see everything he needed to find out the truth. He actually wanted someone to finally know the truth, although it might only be a boy. He also felt a little guilty for putting that much responsibility on someone so young, but he had no choice. The boy was the first one to ever come close to seeing. He had to let him.</p><p>Sherlock was silent for a few more moments. Then...</p><p>The boy put his cup aside and took Victor’s from him as well. Then he took hold of Victor’s hand.</p><p>“May I...” The boy gesticulated to Victor’s shirt. </p><p>Victor felt as if he was caught in a trance, but he nodded. </p><p>Sherlock let go of his hand to lift up Victor’s shirt. He had seen his upper body while swimming.</p><p>Then Sherlock pulled down the seam of his pyjama trousers a little. On the spot where hip met thigh, were little round, white spots. </p><p>Sherlock reached out and switched on the lamp beside the sofa.</p><p>Victor’s upper thighs were littered in scars, mostly tiny burn marks. </p><p>The young man closed his eyes. He was trembling now. </p><p>He flinched as Sherlock gently touched a scar.</p><p>“Sorry.”, the boy mumbled and took his hands back.</p><p>Victor righted himself once more, but he couldn’t look at Sherlock.</p><p>“My father. He wasn’t the man everyone thought he was. And my mother, well, she told me to be more accepting and understanding of his behaviour.”</p><p>Victor felt his eyes tear up and there was nothing he could do about it. </p><p>“He...” Victor swallowed. “Sherlock, he would rape me. When I was crying or screaming or fight back he would burn me with his cigarettes and strike me. He’d be careful to hide it.”</p><p>And like this, Victor broke. He started to sob, curling up in himself, covering his face with his hands. He just wanted to go and hide away forever.</p><p>Suddenly he felt arms around himself and without thinking, he twisted and sobbed into the boy’s shoulder. </p><p>How pathetic was he, that he was using a twelve-year-old to comfort him?</p><p>True, Sherlock’s mind was definitely older than this in most cases, but in essential emotional things, he was still a child. God, he might not even know what rape was. What a shitty person was he?!?</p><p>Sherlock gently patted his back. It was a little insecure, but it felt so good.</p><p>Victor wasn’t sure how long he sat there sobbing, but eventually he composed himself again and sat back.</p><p>Sherlock gave him a small smile. </p><p>“I’m so sorry, Sherlock. I should never have told you that. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>Sherlock picked up their discarded mugs once more, pressing one in Victor’s hand, before snuggling himself against the young man.</p><p>“Do you feel better now?”</p><p>Victor was a little surprised but he slung an arm around the boy’s shoulders, squeezing him to his side.</p><p>“Actually yes.”, he had to admit. </p><p>“Then you don’t have to be sorry.”</p><p>They both sipped their drinks in silence until Sherlock’s eyes starred to droop. </p><p>Victor carried him upstairs to his room, tucking him in, before going back to his own room. To his surprise, he managed to fall asleep.</p><p>********</p><p>The next morning Victor felt horrible for what he had done last night. Furthermore, Sherlock hadn’t come to wake him at 6:30 and so it was well past 10am when he finally woke. </p><p>The blonde sat up in his bed, rubbing his face and desperately wanting to disappear. Maybe he would tell Mycroft today that he would leave, find some excuse to get out of here. What had he been thinking to confide in a boy? By now surely the whole house, or at least Mycroft, knew what he had told Sherlock yesterday. Mycroft would be furious with him for telling his younger brother about rape. Fuck.</p><p>Victor got up slowly and dressed. Then he went downstairs.</p><p>The Holmes parents were at work during the days and only came home in the evenings. He hoped that Mycroft and Sherlock would be out somewhere, so he didn’t have to face them yet. </p><p>Victor made tea for himself and sat down. He didn’t feel like eating.</p><p>The house was empty and this suited Victor just fine. He went back to his room, reading.</p><p>After a couple of hours the door to his room opened and Sherlock snuck in, quickly crawling on his bed and cuddling up to him, looking at the book he was reading. </p><p>“What’s it about?”</p><p>Victor, completely stunned, just stared at the boy beside him.</p><p>Sherlock frowned up at him as he received no answer.</p><p>“Victor?”</p><p>Victor cleared his throat.</p><p>“Uh, it’s Ulysses by James Joyce. I like it. It’s actually the third time I’m reading it.”</p><p>“Can I read it?”</p><p>Victor chuckled.</p><p>“You can try. It’s a little difficult though.”</p><p>Sherlock seemed to take that as a challenge, as he pulled the book towards himself and started to read.</p><p>“Sherlock?”, Mycroft’s voice came from the hallway.</p><p>“Hm?”, Sherlock asked, not looking up from his book.</p><p>Mycroft entered the guest room, raising his eyebrow at his younger brother. </p><p>“What did I say about annoying Victor?”</p><p>Sherlock ignored him.</p><p>“It’s alright, Mycroft.”, Victor assured him. </p><p>The elder Holmes smiled at him and winked.</p><p>“Looks like Sherlock found someone else to stick to like glue. Lucky me.”</p><p>Victor blushed a little but Mycroft just grinned.</p><p>“We were thinking of a picnic by the lake today? Sherlock wants to swim and I want to read.” </p><p>“Victor is coming.”, Sherlock decided without looking up from the book.</p><p>Victor raised his hand (the other one was occupied with holding Sherlock) in defeat.</p><p>“Apparently I’m coming.”</p><p>Mycroft shook his head, still smiling, and left, presumably to get some picnic foods and drinks.</p><p>“Come, let’s help your brother.”</p><p>Sherlock shook his head.</p><p>Victor poked him.</p><p>“Come on.”</p><p>Sherlock shook his head once more.</p><p>“Alright.”</p><p>Victor got up and Sherlock whined, but Victor grabbed him, lifted him up and carried him into the kitchen.</p><p>Sherlock grinned but didn’t stop reading.</p><p>Mycroft huffed as Victor deposited Sherlock to sit on the counter.</p><p>“Don’t spoil him too much. He’s spoiled enough already.”</p><p>Sherlock stuck his tongue out to his brother, his eyes not leaving the page.</p><p>********</p><p>After packing some food and drinks, the three made their way to the lake. Sherlock’s nose was still stuck in the book, Victor’s arm on his shoulder to guide him.</p><p>Mycroft enjoyed the way that the both of them got along. Victor was good for Sherlock’s social skills, as the youth didn’t do well with people and he himself had been the closest the younger had ever had to a friend.</p><p>Sherlock also seemed to be good for Victor. Victor, who had had such a terrible few months was visibly relaxing when in Sherlock’s company. </p><p>He also knew that something had happened last night. Sherlock seemed extremly eager to be by Victor’s side, studying him with slight concern when he thought no one was watching. Mycroft wasn’t going to pry, he was just glad that Victor had finally opened up to someone. He would have preferred it was him, because Sherlock was still so young to be dealing with problems of the adult world, but he supposed that the younger had deduced something himself.</p><p>Mycroft knew that Sherlock was better with people than he was, although it didn’t appear like this right now. </p><p>He himself had always known that there was something more behind Victor’s story about the death of his parents, but he had never deduced his friend, nor asked him. It wasn’t his place to do so.</p><p>Probably Sherlock hadn’t thought so and had gotten Victor to talk.</p><p>Even Victor today seemed to be a little more attached to Sherlock, which was alright. </p><p>Mycroft loved his younger brother, but he knew that he couldn’t always be there to protect him. So he was glad that the boy would have someone else in his life who he could trust, whom he could run to, if he needed help should he not be there.</p><p>Mycroft was also glad that he could spend a few hours with his book after lunch, while Victor and Sherlock went swimming.</p><p>********</p><p>Victor followed Sherlock across the lake, swimming close to the banks so they could stop anytime. Sherlock wanted to look for some more weeds, which he could analyse.</p><p>Eventually they had crossed the whole lake (it wasn’t particularly big). Victor sat on a bolder in the water, while Sherlock paddled around him, looking for something usable for his experiments.</p><p>“Sherlock?”</p><p>The boy hummed but continued looking.</p><p>“Sherlock.”, Victor tried again and the 12-year-old stopped, floating closer to him.</p><p>“I... I just wanted to say... what I said last night...”</p><p>Victor toyed with his fingers in the water, unable to look at the younger.</p><p>“Do you... do you know what it means?”</p><p>Victor still felt terrible, but what was done was done and he wanted to make sure that, if Sherlock had any questions, he would come to him with them and not ask Mycroft or, God forbid, his parents about it. </p><p>Sherlock’s forehead furrowed a little as he thought about it.</p><p>“I think but I’m not entirely sure.” </p><p>“What did you not understand?”</p><p>“I got that your dad hurt you really badly.”</p><p>Victor gave a sharp nod.</p><p>“I’m not entirely sure what rape means though.”<br/>
Victor sighed and put a hand over his face. Why had he done that? Why had he told Sherlock about it?</p><p>“I wanted to google it.”, the boy went on. “But I figured that it was very personal and I didn’t want to...” Sherlock motioned with his hand.</p><p>“You can, if you want to.”, Victor gave his permission. “But it was wrong of me to tell you that. I shouldn’t have done so.”</p><p>Sherlock shook his head and sat beside Victor, putting his head on his shoulder.</p><p>“Do you want to tell me about it?”</p><p>Victor closed his eyes, pained. </p><p>“You don’t really want me to induce those nightmares. I can’t.”</p><p>Sherlock took his hand in his, pulling him back into the deeper water until Victor stood in the water, submerged until his shoulders. The elder leaned against the rock, while Sherlock held on to his arm, floating around him.</p><p>“You won’t talk to anyone else, will you?”</p><p>Victor looked at him with watery eyes.</p><p>“I can’t, Sherlock. You’re so young. It’s killing me every day of my life. I can’t do the same to you.”</p><p>Sherlock moved closer, wrapping his legs around Victor’s middle and hugging him close.</p><p>“I’ll be fine. You can tell me. We can talk about it to each other.”</p><p>Victor knew he shouldn’t do this. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t change the fact that he was only human. He had never before felt the need to tell anyone about it, but now the feeling got so strong. And he was only human. So he broke.</p><p>Victor buried his hands in Sherlock’s hair, petting him gently.</p><p>“It started when I was fourteen. My father was... always very different to me from what he showed other people on the outside. He was very strict and would hit me when I wasn’t doing as he told me. And then one day that wasn’t enough anymore. I just came from the shower and my father, well, he had found out that I didn’t get an A on all of the last exams although he had told me that I need them to get into the university I wanted to go. It was the same one he had attended so he wanted me to go there as perfect student with the perfect marks.”</p><p>Victor took a deep breath and pulled Sherlock a little closer.</p><p>“So I came from the shower, only a towel wrapped around myself. And my father came to my room, threw the door open, grabbed me and started to beat me. It...”</p><p>Victor’s voice broke and he sobbed.</p><p>“It got him... Fuck, I can’t do this.”</p><p>Sherlock hugged him closer, tightening his legs around his body.</p><p>“It’s alright, Victor. You’re here and not there. He won’t ever hurt you again.”</p><p>“I... He got excited while he was beating me. He threw me on the floor, on my stomach and he... he raped me. That means he... He had... Sex with me without me wanting to.”</p><p>Sherlock nodded against him.</p><p>“I googled that once, when Mycroft mentioned it mistakenly.”, he said quietly.</p><p>“From then on it got worse. He was just looking for an excuse to...”</p><p>Victor started to sob again, gripping Sherlock so tightly that he was scared to break the boy.</p><p>“He hurt you very badly with that, didn’t he? It was worse than the beatings.”</p><p>Victor just nodded.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”, Sherlock whispered.</p><p>Victor gently stroked the boy’s back, focussing on the feel of him under his fingertips rather than on the dark thoughts in his mind.</p><p>“I really shouldn’t have told you that.”, he whispered once more.</p><p>Sherlock loosened bis grip a little and leaned back to look into Victor’s eyes.</p><p>“I’m fine. I know that no one of my family is like that. And that you aren’t like that either.”</p><p>Victor hadn’t even realised that this was a fact that indeed scared him. Being like his father.</p><p>“No.”, Victor agreed. “I’m... I thought about myself as asexual before all this happened, which made it worse. And now, I’m not sure what will happen.”</p><p>Sherlock gave him a small smile. </p><p>“You’re perfect the way you are. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. You are who you are.”</p><p>Victor kissed his cheek.</p><p>“You’re going to be a great man someday, Sherlock. And you’re going to make someone very happy.”</p><p>Suddenly hurt flashed through Sherlock’s eyes. Before Victor could say anything else, he swam away again, motioning Victor to follow him. </p><p>“Come. Let’s get some more specimen for testing and analysing.”</p><p>Victor smiled a little as he followed the boy. He could use some distraction.</p><p>********</p><p>Sherlock was screwed. Officially. He had a huge crush, no let’s rephrase that, he was madly in love with Victor Trevor, his older brother’s university friend. </p><p>Aside from the fact that he was too young to be even noticed by the man like that, now there was his whole past that he had to deal and come to terms with. The elder would probably not think about falling in love for a long while now.</p><p>Sherlock had fallen for the elder pretty much as soon as he had seen him, but had tried to brush it off. The closer he had become with Victor though, the worse it got. </p><p>By the time Victor confided in him, he had been head over heels. He had thought it meant something that Victor would tell him of all people about his past. That he trusted him that much.<br/>
So when Victor had kissed him on the cheek, well, he had thought he might start to levitate, which was nonsense, obviously.</p><p>And then Victor had told him that he would make someone rlse happy. Meaning all of the things Sherlock had thought meant something between them, didn’t matter. Victor had seen him as child, no more. He only had opened up to him because Sherlock had deduced it.</p><p>Sherlock felt stupid and young now. He hated himself for giving any of that more meaning than it had to.</p><p>But obviously Sherlock wasn’t someone to give up easily. He needed to make sure Victor started to see him in a different light. The elder needed to know that he was there for him, and would always be his, if he wished so.</p><p>So Sherlock started to be even closer to Victor all of the time. He would lean against him when they were sitting somewhere, cuddle with him when they were lying on the sofa to watch a film. </p><p>Victor accepted all of this without questioning it and even seemed to enjoy it. </p><p>The boy had high hopes that Victor would eventually come to see something more in him. That Victor would eventually learn to love him.</p><p>********</p><p>Victor had been with the Holmes’ for about six weeks, and he loved every second of it. </p><p>Sherlock and he were closer than ever, and he found it nice. He had always wanted siblings and now he had the chance.</p><p>At first he had felt a little guilty as Mycroft wasn’t Sherlock’s prime focus of attention anymore, but his friend had only smiled and told him that it was alright. The three of them still spent most of their time together anyways.</p><p>Sherlock had developed a habit to sneak into Victor’s bedroom, especially when he was having nightmares (how the boy knew that he didn’t know). </p><p>Tonight, when Victor woke from a particular nasty dream, Sherlock was holding his hand, staring down at him.</p><p>The boy silenty tugged his hand, asking him to follow.</p><p>Victor did and followed him outside on the terrace.<br/>
Only now he realised that Sherlock was carrying a couple of blankets. The boy put one on the ground and they sat on it, the other one he wrapped around their shoulders.</p><p>“What are we doing here?”, Victor whispered.</p><p>Sherlock smiled up at him. He seemed a little nervous.</p><p>“Stargazing.”</p><p>Victor smiled and looked up at the sky.</p><p>“A bit cloudy for that.”</p><p>Sherlock looked up and frowned. </p><p>“Well, I just thought, you know...”</p><p>“I appreciate it Sherlock.”</p><p>Victor put his arm around the younger and held him close.</p><p>“Victor.”, he quietly started. “I... Can I tell you something without you sending me away?”</p><p>Victor caught his gaze. </p><p>“After everything I told you, you can tell me anything, Sherlock.”</p><p>The boy smiled for a moment, before his face turned serious again.</p><p>“Victor, I love you.”</p><p>The boy looked up, their eyes met, and Victor knew that he didn’t mean it in a brotherly sense. Sherlock loved him. </p><p>He froze for a moment, not sure what to think. He loved the boy as well. But like a brother. Didn’t he? What was the difference? </p><p>Victor quickly run it through his head. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with Sherlock. He wanted to cuddle him, be close to him. He wanted to kiss him (innocently). </p><p>Nothing wrong with this so far. As he identified himself as asexual and was deffinitely not a paedophile, he wasn’t sexually attracted to the younger, but that didn’t have to mean anything.</p><p>Victor carried this thought further. What if Sherlock would come home with a boyfriend / girlfriend in a couple of years’ time and he had to watch them be close, had to watch them spend all of their time together?</p><p>Victor had never been romantically involved with anyone, had never been in love, so he wasn’t entirely sure what kind of love he was feeling for Sherlock (as he had never had any reason to love his family), but he knew what jealousy felt like. And just the imagination of someone else being with him made Victor cringe.</p><p>Besides that, Sherlock already knew that he was asexual. He knew what had been going on in his life before they had met. He knew all of Victor’s secrets and had kept and accepted them. </p><p>“Sherlock...”</p><p>The boy flinched.</p><p>“I know you’re going to tell me that I’m too young for this. That I can’t possibly know what I want, but Victor, I’m sure of this. I’m sure of us. I want this.”</p><p>Victor smiled gently.</p><p>“This is good to know, but wasn’t what I was going to say. I wanted to say that I’m not sure what love means, as I haven’t had a lot of that in my life so far, but I do know that I feel very strongly for you, and I think I love you too.”</p><p>Sherlock beamed like the sun.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>Victor nodded.</p><p>“This is going to be complicatd. How are we going to tell your brother? Because he will find out, Sherlock.”</p><p>“But there is nothing for him to find out. We’re not doing anything unusual.”</p><p>“Don’t think he won’t notice.”</p><p>Sherlock pouted and Victor kissed his cheek. </p><p>“I’ll speak with him.”</p><p>Sherlock still pouted, so Victor kissed him again and again and again until the boy started to giggle quietly.</p><p>“I love you.”, he mumbled into the younger’s skin, kissing his cheek once more. </p><p>Sherlock held him close, as if he was scared that Victor would disappear.</p><p>********</p><p>The next morning was interesting. The Holmes parents weren’t home again and so it was just them three again.</p><p>They were sitting by the lake once more as it was a extremely hot day.</p><p>Victor turned to Sherlock, who was reading beside him. </p><p>“Would you mind getting us something to drink?”</p><p>Sherlock frowned. </p><p>“Now?”</p><p>“Yes, please.”, Victor said quietly.</p><p>Suddenly Sherlock understood and he jumped up, running towards the house.</p><p>Mycroft looked up from his book and after his brother.</p><p>“Is he alright?”</p><p>Victor nodded and sat up. </p><p>“Yes. He’s getting drinks.”</p><p>Mycroft raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“He’d really do everything for you.”</p><p>Victor studied Mycroft’s face as he said that. He didn’t seem overly bothered.</p><p>“Mycroft.”, Victor started and wasn’t entirely sure how to go on. “Uhm, I...” He should just say it. Get it out. “I love Sherlock.”</p><p>Victor looked up carefully and met Mycroft’s eyes. The other young man studied him carefully. </p><p>“As I do?”, he eventually said.</p><p>Victor shook his head.</p><p>Mycroft hummed and closed his book.</p><p>“You know that I trust you with my life, so I trust you with Sherlock. But you have to keep in mind that he is twelve. He is still a boy.”</p><p>Victor stared at Mycroft. Was he really okay with that?</p><p>“Victor, I know what you’re like and I know that you would never do anything bad to my brother. I know that you won’t try anything with him until he is at least sixteen.”</p><p>That wasn’t a suggestion, it was a command and Victor realised it as such.</p><p>What certainly helped was that Mycroft had never seen him romantically involved with anyone, so it probably showed him how serious the situation actually was.</p><p>“Sherlock is different, I knew that from the beginning.”, Mycroft began. “Certainly, we are both smart, quite above average, but with him it was always that he is so much more emotional. He is compassionate and empathic, although he doesn’t like to admit it. He is very sensitive. He deduced something about you, not because he looked at you, but because he felt it. Don’t worry, he hasn’t told me about it, but I can see that he clearly did something to change your relationship. I admit I tried to see what he saw on you, but I can’t. Because I’m not empathic.”</p><p>Mycroft smiled.</p><p>“If he loves you, he’ll do it with his whole heart. It’s up to you not to hurt him, because it will reak his heart. He’ll also be very desperate to try and not to hurt you. He is young but you’ll need to talk with him, if he does something wrong. He is still learning.”</p><p>Victor nodded.</p><p>“I promise I’ll look after him.”</p><p>Mycroft smiled. </p><p>“I trust you. And I’ll have an eye on you.”</p><p>Victor blushed.</p><p>Sherlock appeared behind him, putting a cold bottle into his neck, which made Victor yelp.</p><p>“You devil.”</p><p>Victor reached around and pulled Sherlock inot his lap. The boy giggled and let go of the bottles he had been carrying, which fell into the grass.</p><p>“You have to cool down.”, the younger stated cocky.</p><p>Victor took Sherlock in his arms and stood.</p><p>“You want to cool down?”, Victor asked and walked towards the pier. The wood felt hot against his bare feet but he carried the boy until he reached the end.</p><p>“Ready to cool down?”</p><p>“Noooo.”, Sherlock sqeaked and tried to hold on to Victor. </p><p>It didn’t help. Victor dropped Sherlock into the cool water.</p><p>The boy came back up, spluttering.</p><p>“Hey.”, he complained. </p><p>Victor laughed and jumped into the water himself, splashing Sherlock with more water.</p><p>Sherlock glared at him, but Victor grabbed him and kissed his cheek. The boy practically melted against him, winding his limbs around the elder like a python.</p><p>“You spoke with him?”, Sherlock asked quietly.</p><p>“Yes.” Victor smiled at his boy. “You are mine now.”</p><p>Sherlock squealed in delight and kissed Victor’s cheek.</p><p>********</p><p>The next few weeks were the best of Victor’s life. He was finally free from the person who had hurt him his whole life and was able to enjoy himself. Also, he had people who loved him, ared about him and who he could love in return.</p><p>Sherlock was the most important person in his life now. </p><p>He dreaded the day he had to go back to university, but it eventually came.</p><p>Sherlock had spend the night cuddled up to Victor. </p><p>When it was time to leave, Sherlock cried, but Victor promised to text him every day and that they would talk on the phone.</p><p>It went without saying that Victor would return for the winter semester break.</p><p>Victor and Sherlock were very happy, despite the distance. </p><p>For more than three years they continued their relationship like this.</p><p>When Sherlock turned fifteen, Victor came to see him, but the summer after he had to attend an important internship in Manchester and wasn’t able to see the younger.</p><p>Therefore now, when Victor returned for the Christmas break with Mycroft, he was very nervous to see the boy.</p><p>********</p><p>“Ready?”, Mycroft asked.</p><p>Victor nodded as his friend opened the door. He hadn’t seen the teen in person in a year now. </p><p>The door was barely open all the way before Victor had his arms full of an overly excited Sherlock.<br/>
“Hey.”, he mumbled, hugging the boy close.  He had grown but was still quite a bit shorter than Victor himself.</p><p>“You look so...” Victor pushed Sherlock from him so he could look at him. “Adult.”</p><p>Sherlock grinned and kissed Victor. On the lips. Just a peck, but they had never done this before. Both blushed and Victor cleared his throat, stepping into the house.</p><p>Sherlock had told his parents about their relationship when he had turned fifteen (he had omitted to tell them about the three previous years) and they had been alright with it. Especially since they knew Victor so well and Mycroft had given his okay too.</p><p>“Let me just get my stuff sorted.”</p><p>Victor moved his things into the guest bedroom.</p><p>“Do you think you’ll be spending a lot of time in here?”, a voice behind him suddenly asked and arms wrapped themselves around his body.</p><p>Logically, Victor knew that it aas Sherlock whose body pressed against his back right now and that he had nothing to fear from his boyfriend, but his body reacted unconsciously, bucking and gripping the offending arms, pulling them aside tightly and tackling the person attached to them to the floor.</p><p>Sherlock stared up at him with wide, blue eyes and Victor could see fear in them. Shit.</p><p>Victor quickly let go of Sherlock, jumping to his feet and moving halfway across the room.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Lockie, I really am.”</p><p>This just proved how messed up he really was. </p><p>Sherlock stood, coming closer to his boyfriend.</p><p>“It’s alright, Vic. I shouldn’t have done that.”</p><p>“Sherlock.” Victor sighed and sat on the bed. “I’m completely messed up. You’re too young to worry about so much. You should be with someone easy. You shouldn’t have to deal with that.”</p><p>Sherlock smiled and flopped down on the bed beside Victor.</p><p>“You’re being dramatic again, Victor. I don’t want to be with anyone but you. I can deal with your little flaws since you put up with mine so well.”</p><p>The boy grinned and Victor couldn’t help but roll his eyes at him.</p><p>“You are a menace, do you know that?”</p><p>Sherlock grinned and pulled the older man towards him, so they were both lying on the bed, looking into each other’s eyes.</p><p>“I really missed you.”, Victor whispered and brushed a stray hair out of Sherlock’s face.</p><p>********</p><p>They had both spent a few wonderful days together when it happened.</p><p>Sherlock had been spending his time snogging the living hell out of his boyfriend, who didn’t mind the closeness and enjoyed the kisses.</p><p>Suddenly Sherlock shifted and his hips brushed Victor’s.</p><p>Sherlock let out a gasp at the contact and Victor froze. Sherlock was clearly aroused.</p><p>The younger realised immediately what he had done and jumped up from the bed, trying to hide his embarrassment with a few mumbles of “going to the bathroom” and vanished out of the room.</p><p>Victor took a deep breath, rubbing his hand over his face.</p><p>********</p><p>Sherlock curled up on his bed, the duvet pulled high over his dark curls.</p><p>How could he have been so stupid? He knew exactly what Victor had told him about his sexuality. It didn’t bother him that he was asexual, never had, only Sherlock... wasn’t. And he had, if only recently, discovered that he was interested in Victor that way. </p><p>Now one might think that this relationship that they had wasn’t enough for Sherlock anymore, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Sherlock loved Victor with all his heart and that hadn’t changed in four years, but he had also come to love Victor in a different kind of way.</p><p>Sherlock had, as it was, enough problems with other people and them being not nearly as smart as he was and therefore he couldn’t even imagine having any relations with them whatsoever.</p><p>A sudden knock at the door interrupted his train of thoughts, but he gave no answer. </p><p>Victor and he had barely spoken during dinner, the atmosphere tense and uncomfortable. </p><p>Someone entered his room and closed the door behind them, before the mattress tipped with added weight of that someone sitting down.</p><p>“Sherlock.”, Victor said quietly.</p><p>Something was up. Victor’s voice sounded... off. Surely this was all Sherlock’s fault. Why did he have to let his stupid instincts take over and let Victor notice how he felt? He was such an idiot.<br/>
A hand carefully pulled back the duvet from his head and Sherlock blinked through the darkness at his boyfriend. Or possibly ex-boyfriend. Shit. How badly had he messed up? Tears started to well up in his eyes and he was glad that Victor could barely see his face.</p><p>“I... I just...”, Victor started but his voice broke. He tried again. “I just wanted to tell you that it’s alright. I love you, but I understand that you... have different needs than me and I would never stand in your way like this. I’ll leave tomorrow.”</p><p>Wait. What was happening here?</p><p>Sherlock sat bolt upright, gripping Victor’s arms.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Despite not being able to see the elder, Sherlock could tell that he was crying now. </p><p>“Vic, what’s going on?”</p><p>“I assume you’ll want to break up with me, because I can’t give you what you need and that’s alright.”</p><p>Sherlock reached out and turned on his bedside light, both males blinking at the sudden brightness.</p><p>Victor smiled fondly at him, taking his hand.</p><p>“I know you’ll find someone normal.”</p><p>Sherlock gripped his hand.</p><p>“Me? And someone normal? Do you even remember me?”</p><p>The younger reached up and wiped the tears from Victor’s cheeks.</p><p>“Victor, listen to me. I don’t want anyone else. I want you and whatever comes with that. I love you.”</p><p>“Sherlock, you don’t know what you’re saying. You’ll miss out on so much with me.”</p><p>“Sex. I’ll miss out on sex with you. If I want to get off, there are ways, Vic, and I’ll gladly tell or show them to you, if you’re so inclined. I won’t miss out on anything.”</p><p>Victor looked at him for a long moment, before he pulled him onto his lap. Sherlock went gladly.</p><p>“You really are stubborn.”</p><p>Sherlock grinned up at him.</p><p>“Yep, that’s me.”</p><p>Victor kissed him and Sherlock clung to the elder tightly.</p><p>********</p><p>Their relationship, against popular belief, grew only stronger with time and they were able to understand each other without words, although their world wasn’t all sunshine. They had their differences, as both of them were brilliant, but they always knew that they were stronger than any petty fight they might have. And they proved this to be true. </p><p>Victor took a position with the Government, together with Mycroft, although they both worked towards different goals. They both rose quite fast in their respective positions.</p><p>Victor had less and less time for Sherlock, which he hated but hoped the boy would understand. They still got to see each other a couple of times a year, and even though that wasn’t ideal, Victor would take it any day rather than not seeing Sherlock.</p><p>Sherlock himself went to university, fought with Victor more often than not because he missed him - Yes. this was how Sherlock worked. Yes, Victor knew that and he also knew that Sherlock would come back every night after a fight before he went to bed, and apologise. They would make up and be alright once more. - unfortunately managed to get some wrong friends, who promised him excitement and started doing drugs. It started out quite harmlessly with a bit of weed, but escalated quickly as Sherlock, always one to experment, soon started to crave the rush more and more and before he knew it, he had no choice but to take them or feel terrible all the time. </p><p>Victor only realised after several months - Actually, Sherlock confessed to him because he was scared that Victor would find out otherwise and leave him. - and blamed himself. He promised to come see Sherlock as soon as possible. He wanted to convince the younger to go to rehab and get clean once more. He also vowed to take his job a little less serious and, if necessary, take a step back. </p><p>Just before Victor was due to leave the office, excited to go see the love of his life, a bomb exploded.</p><p>Sherlock heard about the bomb and the dead people they had found so far. No one in the building survived. </p><p>He couldn’t do this. He ignored his ringing phone - Mycroft - and went out. </p><p>When Mycroft found him - so they told him - he was closer to death than to life. </p><p>He hated himself because he hadn’t managed to kill himself. He hated the doctor’s for bringing him back. And he hated Mycroft for finding him.</p><p>A life without Victor wasn’t worth living. A life without Victor was no life. Emotions were a defect, a terrible mistake of the human mind. He swore that he would never ever let anyone come that close to him again.</p><p>A few months later Sherlock had been through rehab, because this was what Victor had wanted, and tried to find his footing by himself in London.</p><p>He met a nice enough copper, who was willing to let him, inofficially, help on cases - Mycroft for sure had something to do with that but Sherlock never asked him - and slowly he came back to who he once was.</p><p>Victor and their time together had been buried somewhere deep in his mind palace, stored to be there forever. And on some nights, when he got really lonely, he tug it all back out and could see Victor’s brilliant smile and feel the love they had for each other.</p>
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